Dress Code Policy, My A**!

Posted by Melanie in Dear Diary, Featured | 1 comment

I am angry.  Yup.  Just plain mad!  And I’ve changed my mind about something that I used to be wrong about.

I am a fairly conservative dresser.  I don’t ever wear sleeveless things and I rarely wear shorts.  I am fairly modest in my choices even though I like bright colors and I like things that are a little bit funky.  I notice if my children wear things that look “tacky” and I have been known to send all three of them back upstairs to change for various reasons.

That said, I am fed up with so-called “dress code enforcement” in schools that only gets applied to women.  I read an article the other day that talked about “students humiliated for dress code enforcement.”  I want to point out these weren’t just students, they were all young women.  Young girls were asked to “bend over” to see if their skirts are too short.  Women are being sent home in schools all over the place.  You can see the video here of one school.  Another mom fought back when her daughter was sent home on the last day of school because her dress was allegedly too short.  She wore the offending dress to her daughter’s graduation ceremony.  You can see that here.

In Quebec this week, a 3-year-old girl was called out for swimming without a top and asked to leave.  Read the article here.  The child’s mother was told the child couldn’t be topless because they didn’t want her to be targeted by pedophiles.  Are you kidding me?  What?  Are we really going there with our children?

After further consideration, I think we need to examine our policy on dress codes altogether.  Everyone is talking about whether the schools are being too strict and whether the clothing really is offensive.  I think everyone is asking the wrong questions.  The question we should be asking is why can’t women drape their bodies in whatever they want to? We have laws for public nudity.  I am not proposing we get rid of those laws.  Why should government entities (schools are government entities) get to tell women what they must wear in order to get an education?  Why is this a subjective decision, not a legislative one?

We find it highly objectionable when the Taliban makes women wear burqas.  We think North American women should get to choose what they wear.  How is a school system deciding how long women’s skirts should be really any different?  Why don’t women have the fundamental right to cloak their bodies in whatever trashy, trampy garb they want and still get an education?  As women, we are a product of our society that markets sexy revealing clothing to us  every day.  I want the right to choose what I put on my body, who touches my body and what I do with my body in every way.  I want this fundamental right for all women.  I don’t want the government to arbitrarily decide what young women have to wear in order to access education and then have random enforcement in our school systems to demean and shame young women.

Now, I do believe the discussion needs to be happening at home about appropriate attire.  I believe that there are huge challenges for women who choose to marginalize themselves by wearing revealing clothing in inappropriate environments.  But I believe they have the right to do so!  We have a history in North America–both the USA and Canada–of having old white men make laws and decide what women can do with their bodies.  That doesn’t make it right.  We need to stand together to affirm our right to do with our bodies whatever we want and deciding what we wear each day should be a fundamental right.

There are those who might make the argument that inappropriate clothing might be distracting in schools.  I have to say it is far less distracting for the women involved than being sent home, asked to bend over or having their clothing measured.  If we are talking about the boys being distracted, then they will figure it out, or be distracted or do whatever it is they do.  It is not a woman’s job to dress in a way that keeps boys and men from being distracted.  It is not a woman’s job to cover her body in a way that keeps a man from thinking impure thoughts.  It is not a woman’s job to dress in a way that keeps a man from wanting to rape her.  It is a woman’s right to completely choose what she wears and what she does with her body without regard for the feeling or desires of men.

Now we all agree to live in society and to live under certain public nudity laws.  I am not talking about changing those laws.  As long as those are equal for men and women, then I believe this is part of what we agree to when we join a community.  We agree to live under those laws.

I am talking about government institutions like schools and I am angry.  Not because I want children to wear shorts that show their asses and low-cut blouses that show cleavage.  Not because I want young girls to make bad decisions regarding what they wear to school.  Not because I want young women to be ogled by young men who are aroused by their bodies.  I am angry because I want our governments and our educational system to stop marginalizing women by telling them what they have to wear in order to get an education. I want women to be celebrated for all that they are rather than be shamed.  I want women to be able to choose what they do with their bodies without double standards and rules meant to control women and their sexuality.

If the government is telling women what to wear in order to get an education, then it is wrong!