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I was hanging out with a crazy Brit named George when I first had the idea of the bookii. I had been working on writing a book and was finding it incredibly 2 dimensional. I wanted multiple topics and more visual than I could accomplish in print. I wanted my reader to be able to explore my book rather than reading it one page after the other. In a conversation with George we were talking about an online technology called Prezi that allows you to explore deeper and is a more flexible presentation platform than Power Point. Somehow talking about that helped me start to visualize a dynamic memoir that had pictures and color and video and wasn’t bound by the boundaries of a printed book. Prezi didn’t end up being the medium, but the concept stuck with me. What makes it a bookii? Well, it is a book that you read electronically It is written by one author and instead of purchasing a book, you purchase an annual subscription to a bookii. My bookii is creative non-fiction–a lifestyle, but I hope there will be lots of bookiis that are both fiction and non-fiction combined. I imagine being able to read my favorite authors and about their characters while simultaneously being able to look up what they were thinking about when they were writing about it or what their inspirations were by exploring their bookii. The Crucible Bookii is my bookii. It is the world’s very first bookii. It is rich with interesting articles about the stories that make up my life. I hope you will become a member and share this journey with me as I create this interactive real-time memoir. Melanie shares how the bookii idea...
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Super Summer Guacamole Guacamole is one of those remarkable foods that has appeal across cultures and generations. There are many different variations out there, and more than once I’ve been snacking at the hors d’oeuvres table with fellow party-goers when curiosity about the contents of the host’s “guac” has turned to lively debate among guests and outright defense of a tried-and-true recipe. Red onions go head-to-head with garlic; limes duke it out with lemons. Cilantro? Tomatoes? Hot sauce? Mayonnaise??? A really good guacamole takes a little more planning than most dips. Very rarely am I able to find the perfect avocado in the store or at the market, so great guacamole is a perfect way to practice the under-appreciated art of postponing gratification. A rock hard avocado usually takes about a week to soften, while a medium hard avocado takes about three days. The soft avocados on the shelf are usually too ripe and won’t have the flavor of the perfect avocado. Organic avocados are readily available, even in the winter when other fruits and vegetables are out of season and you’re craving a taste of summer. My daughter, Sela, is a chef. She is an amazing cook. Almost everything she makes is perfect. We happen to have different guacamole recipes. People ask which one I prefer, and I always say, “I prefer anything she cooks for me.” That said, I make my guacamole differently! Sela’s Ingredients: 3 “perfect” organic avocados 2 cloves organic garlic, pressed or micro-planed 1 tbsp fresh squeezed lime juice Salt to taste My Ingredients: 3 “perfect” organic avocados 1/4 cup diced yellow or white onion 1-2 tbsp fresh squeezed lemon juice Salt to taste With both recipes, mash the avocados with a fork or a pastry cutter until they are creamy. Add other ingredients and salt to taste. On occasion, when I need to stretch the guacamole (more guests come than are expected or the kids are starving), I add tomato to the guacamole. This can be done with...
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DISC is a personality profiling system that takes its name from four personality attributes: Dominance, Influence, Steadiness and Compliance. DISC can be used in development and training, to elevate communication, to raise self-awareness and increase team cohesiveness. Recently, I had the opportunity to work with a company whose product requires considerable collaboration with clients. The product is beautiful, and it really fills a niche. Unfortunately, the company also has a problem. Clients are repeatedly unhappy with the customer service they receive. Essentially, clients have a low perceived value for the product they are purchasing because their experience of the process is not optimal. I worked with the production team to really hear what was happening and suggested we use the DISC system to bring clarity to the situation. I chose DISC in this case because the team seemed to be aligned and functioning well; it was their interaction with the customer that was problematic. Each team member filled out a DISC profile. We followed this with some training about the tool and then the profiles were shared with fellow team members. We discovered the person with the lowest natural aptitude for connecting with people (lowest on the ‘I’, or ‘influence’, scale) was the client’s primary client contact—the project coordinator. This explained the clients’ perception of poor customer service. After taking some time to digest and understand each others’ profiles, this team rolled up their sleeves and came up with some solutions. Their solutions seemed to fit two categories: 1. Coach the coordinator on some of the behaviors that create higher connection with the client and 2. Have the other team members who had more customer service-oriented profiles (high ‘I’ profiles) connect more directly with the client. This team was able to address a serious issue with no blaming or finger-pointing. They were able to find solutions that were both specific and comprehensive and they were able to begin implementing the solutions immediately because there was universal buy-in from the team. The coordinator didn’t have...
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I have fallen off the yoga wagon this last couple of months. After almost daily yoga and a 30 day challenge in May, I went to some yoga in June and very little in July. I am nursing a shoulder injury that aches fairly often and it has given me the excuse I needed to not practice yoga regularly. This morning I looked at the clock at 6am and realized if I hurried a little, I could make it to yoga. Ironically, it was the pain in my shoulder that woke me up about 5am. I went to a Moksha class and decided I would try not doing the postures that might inflame my shoulder. I had a fabulous work-out and I realize how much I have been missing the breathing at yoga. It keeps me so aware of my breath all day. I really liked when I was doing daily yoga and I never had to think about whether I was doing enough exercise. It was handled. I have been missing that. I know historically I am not good at maintaining an exercise program so I need strong boundaries or rules. I was just thinking about what worked today that hasn’t worked other days. I realized it takes a certain amount of bravery for me to do physical exercise. It doesn’t always feel good to my body. It is a slightly unpleasant sensation when I am doing it but afterward I feel fantastic. It reminds me of one of the early days after Mel’s transition where he told me one of the big differences after testosterone is that exercise FEELS GOOD. I remember being curious about that at the time and today made me think of it again. That takes me to bravery. So, I have always found that I am most compliant with a first-thing-in-the-morning exercise class. If the day gets later, I have gathered more and more data and reasons why I shouldn’t go to work out. I let myself off...
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I took a course from a guy named Larry Byrum in Boulder, Colorado years ago. He teaches classes on relationships and how to find the perfect partner at the Higher Alignment Center. His work is quite interesting and the system he uses has served me well. One of the aspects he talked about was “pace.” Larry used a scale of 1 to 100 to describe pace. I took courses there over 10 years ago, so apologies if I misrepresent his current teachings. He said that for a romantic relationship to work, one needs to be within 20 points of their partner on the “pace” scale. After 20, he said he didn’t recommend it. In our society people make more money if they are faster paced. Those who are slower paced make less money and are sometimes perceived as “lazy” by people who go through life at a faster pace. We have a lot of judgment about pace in our society. Those who are slower paced may wonder if they “should” be doing more. This kind of “should” pops into my work with clients fairly regularly. It is my perspective that there are no “shoulds”–simply lives full of choices, victories and gratitude. I am fairly sure Mel and I are about 20 points apart. When Mel and I are alone together we are fine. We vacation well. Sometimes he gets up early and goes off to do things while I am still hanging out. We are fairly active on vacation so it suits both of us, then I come home tired and rest. Throwing in all the kid stuff can be challenging for me. I am the slowest paced person in my family although Xander may be similar to me in his pacing. The myriad of kids’ activities leaves me exhausted by the end of the school year. Mel does more driving in the evening than I do but the constant comings and goings drain me. I give myself permission to say no to “one more...
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I can tell I am aging from the way my brain works. It isn’t as flexible as it once was. I used to find it much easier to go with the flow…to let things happen and to make it all work. Now, I am more attached to my schedule, to having things the way I want them. I like having a plan. I don’t really want to be flexible. I want things my way. I see the change and I imagine it means I am aging, but I don’t really care. I like the more planned version of my former self. I love the way I can orchestrate my life to be about how I want it to be. This new-found desire to plan shows me all the places where I don’t have the time to plan, too. Like when we invited people over for drinks and Mel and I were both too busy to go and put the cushions out on the patio furniture and to make it all “nice” before they came. I realized that I don’t like the stress of entertaining in a half-done sort of way. But, with 3 kids, two dogs, two acres, full-time (ish) work and a myriad of friends and family, we don’t have the luxury of a well-organized life so I am still flying by the seat of my pants even though I desire a carefully planned life. I sometimes dream of retirement as if it is a kind of time porn—endless time to move slow, make decisions, talk over coffee, read the paper and feel in control. Instead I feel like a puppy tied to the back of a station wagon loping along behind trying to keep up with a life that pulls me along with a variety of the kid’s activities, work meetings, and social engagements. I keep up most of the time. Every now and then, I check myself. I look around at the chaos and think to myself, “this is as good...
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