21 Day Yoga Challenge: Day 12 — Today Was Hard

Yoga Challenge (c)Melanie Parsh, 2013

Yoga Challenge
(c)Melanie Parsh, 2013

I made it to yoga for an 8am class.  I don’t like rushing into yoga but I realized at the last minute I could make this class.  I like being 15 minutes early and having my time on my mat before the class starts.  I feel excited to be there but it feels like not very long from the 6:30pm class yesterday.  I have this feeling that I haven’t had enough recovery time.

I had really crazy dreams last night.  Nightmare after nightmare.  In one I dreamed I got trapped under a tree under water and I couldn’t move. I could imagine Mel trying to save me and I just tried to get to a place of acceptance really fast sending loving thoughts to all my family.  It was a super intense dream and I accepted my own death.  It seemed very yoga-esque as I let go of my attachment to life and accepted the situation as it was instead of struggling and suffering.

I didn’t do all the poses today.  I could feel the fatigue in my body.  I did a few of them but then spent time lying in shavasana on my mat.  I probably did about 1/2 the poses.  I started tracking my food and exercise and I was motivated to track more minutes of yoga and I think this was a mistake.   I think I didn’t allow it to be okay to be tired.  I asked “more” of my body than I needed.  I need  to be very clear to be gentle with my body and to allow it to do as much yoga as feels right.  I don’t need to push beyond that.

I felt exhausted after today’s yoga and full of sugar cravings.  I have been having these sugar cravings since I started, as if my body is trying to find energy.  I ate a bunch of protein today to see if that would help.  I also had a glass of wine.  I felt kind of yucky after the wine.  I am not sure if my liver is processing lots of toxins because of all my sweating or if I was dehydrated.   I won’t try wine again for a while.

I also am noticing a gentleness with my family.  A tenderness between us.  I am more present to their emotions, I think.

I am going to get good sleep tonight.

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