I have looked everything up on the internet. I am feeling nervous. Is my body too heavy, are my knees too weak? Will I wake up on time? I get up at 5:45 and get there by 6:15 for a 6:30 class. I rent myself a mat and 2 towels for $5 and pay for my 21 day pass. I get a card that I can collect stamps for each time I come. I find out I can get prizes. That is fun. The teacher of the class is the one checking me in and she tells me, “Yoga should never hurt. Go at your own pace. If you feel too hot or you feel uncomfortable at any time, lie down on your back and your heart rate will return to normal.” This makes me feel better, knowing I can take care of myself. I go into the room. It doesn’t feel as hot as I expected. It is warm. I lie on the floor. It feels kind of hard and uncomfortable. I lie down and start breathing. I experiment with my knees down and my knees up. I think about my low back and don’t want to injure it. As I have been training, I have had to pay some attention to my low back as I do weights so I avoid an injury. As I lie on the floor and breathe, the discomfort leaves my low back as I melt into the floor. The class I have chosen says it is good for beginners. I feel awkward but I start to do some of it. And then I lie on the floor and then I do a little more of it. At one point the teacher brings me a strap. “Use this as an extension of your arms,” she says. Oh, that helps! By the end, I am on the floor trying to stay cool most of the time. It feels really hot in my body and I am sweating. I never...
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I have decided to do some yoga. A few years ago, I met the owner of a local hot yoga studio called Moksha Yoga, in Dundas, Ontario–about 5 minutes from my house. It stuck with me and I have been curious about it ever since. Recently I stopped working with the trainer I loved, and found myself suddenly at loose ends for exercise. I knew the studio offered a 21 day yoga pass for $30 and I decided to dive in and do it. I am a sucker for incentives and prizes and they offer a free month if you do 21 classes in 21 days so I decide to commit to this wonderful and challenging journey. I signed up. I’ll be writing about my journey and sharing it with you every day. I hope you will share your stories in the comments section. If you are curious, I suggest you join in for your own 21 or 30 day challenge. Many studios offer a 30 day challenge. Feel free to make it part of your practice to post a comment or share each day. Like what you are reading? Sign up for a free membership (Tire Kicker’s Membership) to the Crucible Bookii and be notified about new posts. Want to read all the content on the site? Sign up here for founding membership ($9.95 per...
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I have seen some pretty scary obesity studies this week and I have always thought that sugar was the devil. Since my children were born, I have tried to limit it, replace it, negotiate around it, and keep it away from them as much as possible in their lives. But this summer, I changed my mind just a little bit. We were in Europe for 5 weeks this summer and we wanted the boys to enjoy the local foods. For 8-year-old boys, “food” translates into dessert and treats. And we wanted them to eat croissants and tarts and all the delicious things in France and the amazing wienerbrød in Denmark. Food was part of experiencing the culture of each country with all of their senses. I also realized that Orangina is available almost everywhere in Europe and it has long been on my list for acceptable kid beverages (It is essentially just juice and bubbling water, no added sugar). So we allowed them to have a treat and an Orangina every day. For the treat, candy would have been off-limits, but they never asked about that. My boys are thin and extremely active and tall for their age. They both do sports for extracurricular activities and they also run, jump, play hard, and are generally very active people who burn lots and lots of calories. They eat very few carbs–that is bread, pasta, potatoes, etc. They get most of their carbs from fruit. Still with the daily treat, they gained a little weight. But it seemed to be good for them. One of them has always been very thin. He filled out a little. And he seemed less slight and more grounded in his body. The other added a little weight to his body but has gotten leaner now that he is back to the twice a week swim team routine. It has made me rethink my “sugar is the devil” mantra. Could it be that moderation in the sugar department might actually be good...
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I always feel a little odd when I think about my “roots.” Same with blood and blood lines and “family ties.” It is because I am adopted and I simply don’t know how to “hold” these words in my soul. I simply haven’t ever been able to make a decision about how to think about these concepts. I have always known it would be easier if I had some… conviction about it. It is the indecision that comes with having to choose which family to identify with as my connection to the past, my ancestors. It leaves me feeling a bit lost. I know I could decide to call either my biological family my “roots” or my adopted family my “family ties.” But neither quite feels true to me. I have always been comforted by the stories in both families that I am a tiny bit Cherokee. Somehow by having the same lineage in both families, it is true. I feel connection to the possessions of those I loved and those of their ancestors that they loved. I feel less connected to family reunions, family trees, and the concept of “ancestors.” When I was 21 years old my birth mother searched for me. I met her and much of her family. They were nice people and I enjoyed visiting with them. I was in a relationship with them for a while and then for a variety of reasons backed away for a number of years. I reconnected with my birth mother a few years ago. It is a fairly casual relationship now–we talk by phone a few times a year. I have liked the concept of genealogy and tracing roots since I first heard of it. I love the idea of being a detective, tracing people through genealogical lines and learning their stories. But I always stop before I engage because I wouldn’t know which family to trace. Neither feels right. My biological family because it is lacking the love—I don’t really care how...
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