I am excited to be at yoga this morning and I am not at all called to lie in Shavasana. I have to say that I feel some relief in feeling “ready to go.” I think I have a secret fear that I am really lazy and I can tell myself I want to do yoga and then just lie on the mat every day. I get that I need to rest when I am tired but I find myself counting “real” workouts in my head. I am happy to log another “real” workout today and am totally aware of the un-yoga-ness of my thoughts. I love that my body is stronger and the poses are going better and better. My balance is better today and I notice I am getting better and some days are just better than...
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I got to yoga this morning and I feel torn. I want the peace and rest of spending some time in Shavasana and I also want a work-out. I really like the teacher that is here and so I start the first downward dog and my wrist feel sore. That seems to answer my question. My body needs to rest and recover from yesterday’s workout. So I breath and rest in Shavasana and feel blissfully rested and refreshed by the end of class. I am now looking forward to yoga tomorrow. What a fantastic way to start the day. When I lie in Shavasana for the whole class, I feel deeply and fabulously rested by the end. This is so peaceful, I wish I could do this and all the yoga poses every day. I think this is fantastic in my head but I have yet to try back to back yoga classes. This idea of 2 classes in a row startles me since 2 and a half weeks ago I could barely make it through a class. When I started, the idea of “meditating” seemed horrible. Sitting still for a long time seemed so unpleasant. Shavasana is different for me. It is deeply restful and a way to deeply care for my body and my...
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My body is changing. I am noticing that my skin is clearing. I have had a little blemish under my eye for a while. It came to the surface and went away. I have always been a little stinky–especially if I drink coffee. My body odor has gone away. I didn’t wear deodorant yesterday and by the evening, there was no smell at all. Today, our class was full of a bunch of McMaster University women’s rugby players. Guess they decided to try yoga. The class was packed full of youth and vigor. It was kind of fun. I made it through most of the class today. Also, I decided to sign up for another 30 day yoga challenge. So, this challenge will be followed by another 30 days. They overlap a little, so it will actually be 48 days total. Should be interesting. I can only imagine how different my body will be after 48 days of yoga....
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Today the teacher commented on how much better I have gotten. Actually, she said something yoga-esque like, “It is fantastic to see how much your practice has changed.” I felt proud. It was great to feel strong again after a few days of feeling exhausted. It is nice to see it come around again. I got super cold before coming to yoga. It was so nice to be in the hot room which isn’t feeling all that hot to me any more. I felt warm and cozy by the end and that was awesome. I am loving the hot...
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Today is Sunday and figuring out how to get to yoga around family activities is a bit challenging. I find a class at 12:30 which means we take 2 cars to church. I could tell Mel really wanted me to go to church with him, so I left right after. Turns out my clothes were in the dryer so I had to come home anyway, and there he was pulling up behind me, so we could have taken one car in the first place. There is still a clumsiness to my scheduling and making my yoga work. I hope this gets more graceful with time. I am letting the clumsiness be okay. We are absorbing a new commitment into our lives and it is a gradual process. Having me exercise 7 times a week is completely new in our relationship. I get to yoga and I get the blocks and strap and put them next to me just in case, but I am deeply tired. I lie down on my mat and stay there the entire hour and 25 minutes. I nap a little, breathe a lot and by the end, I feel refreshed. Lying in shavasana for a whole class is still challenging for my ego. I know I have to do it in order to make it through the challenge when I get tired, but I want to be stronger and able to do more. It is humbling. I have heard this word used several times by teachers and it is deeply true. Not because I feel bad about lying on the mat, but because I wish I didn’t need to. All that said, it is so amazingly pleasant to lie there. I feel like I am melting into the floor. My thoughts are a bit strange, especially when I doze a little and wake up dreaming of video games or weird jarring thoughts. I notice and let them go and focus on breathing again. It is deeply restful. As I get...
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I made it to yoga for an 8am class. I don’t like rushing into yoga but I realized at the last minute I could make this class. I like being 15 minutes early and having my time on my mat before the class starts. I feel excited to be there but it feels like not very long from the 6:30pm class yesterday. I have this feeling that I haven’t had enough recovery time. I had really crazy dreams last night. Nightmare after nightmare. In one I dreamed I got trapped under a tree under water and I couldn’t move. I could imagine Mel trying to save me and I just tried to get to a place of acceptance really fast sending loving thoughts to all my family. It was a super intense dream and I accepted my own death. It seemed very yoga-esque as I let go of my attachment to life and accepted the situation as it was instead of struggling and suffering. I didn’t do all the poses today. I could feel the fatigue in my body. I did a few of them but then spent time lying in shavasana on my mat. I probably did about 1/2 the poses. I started tracking my food and exercise and I was motivated to track more minutes of yoga and I think this was a mistake. I think I didn’t allow it to be okay to be tired. I asked “more” of my body than I needed. I need to be very clear to be gentle with my body and to allow it to do as much yoga as feels right. I don’t need to push beyond that. I felt exhausted after today’s yoga and full of sugar cravings. I have been having these sugar cravings since I started, as if my body is trying to find energy. I ate a bunch of protein today to see if that would help. I also had a glass of wine. I felt kind of yucky...
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