It has become clear to me that I am not going to make my goal of 100 yoga classes in 100 days. The end of the 100 days is about 10 days away and I am down 9 classes. It was an optimistic goal. I was on track until I went on a trip. Then I got caught in the polar vortex for an extra 4 nights in Orlando. I have counted so many times to see if I could make it. It is theoretically possible, but not in a way that feels sane or reasonable in my busy life. I am noticing my attachment and I am allowing failure intentionally–watching it happen–because it feels like the right thing to do. I don’t have regret, although I still wish it was different. It is a disappointed dream for me personally as I will be 7-9 classes short of my goal. Now I need a new goal. I have realized I have the possibility of continuing on and resetting the goal for 125 classes in 125 days or 150 classes in 150 days. It would give me time to double up some classes on the weekends. I notice my attachment to this structure of lots of classes and how it makes me feel a little bit special. Maybe I should let it go and just allow myself to be “normal”. Someone who goes to yoga sometimes. I know I have other travel happening soon. I wonder if I will just get behind again–maybe life will “happen” again and again. I worry about my commitment level. I don’t have a great track record with exercise. The daily commitment really has worked for me because there is no opportunity for excuses. I go daily. The goal of daily yoga has served my body, my mind, and my spirit. I don’t like that I don’t trust myself to “do” yoga without a big picture goal. Or maybe that goal is just helping me do what doesn’t...
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It is early in the morning. I am awake. One of the dogs woke me up and now I am enjoying writing–trying not to think about how tired I am going to be if I don’t get back to bed. I’ll go to yoga in a little while but for now, it is so quiet and peaceful that I am loving writing. Tomorrow is my 50th day of yoga in a row. It has been such a lovely journey. This week I finished Moksha Yoga studio’s 30 day challenge, but because I began a 21 day challenge that overlapped, tomorrow will be 50 days for me. It has been fun to be on a shared journey with my new yoga friends. But now I feel like I am back on my own journey–isn’t exercise always a solitary journey? It seems I am always trying to find my way with exercise and peace in my soul. One of the best parts of this 50 days of yoga, is that for the last 49 days I have never felt guilty about not exercising. I haven’t felt like I “should” be doing something different. I have known what fitness I am doing and when every day. It has worked for me and has lightened the psychic load for me. My parents tithe financially, that is, they give a set amount each year to charity based on their income. I once asked my dad why they did it. He said, “I never have to wonder if I give enough.” The idea of that is fascinating and I have experienced this 50 days of yoga with parallel peace of mind about exercise. I never have to wonder if I am doing enough. Knowing I am doing enough has illuminated some of the bad advice I sometimes get, too. I saw a kinesiologist who suggested I do some cardio. “But I do yoga every day,” I said, stunned. “Yes, but that is just stretching,” he replied. “Have you ever taken...
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I have been doing daily yoga for 5 weeks straight. Slow steady change continues to happen. I am still down about 6 or 7 pounds. I am noticing muscles all over my body. I went to a more advanced classes this week and I was able to follow along. I wasn’t able to do the entire class but I was able to get a fantastic work-out and I can see why those classes are so popular. The Moksha 60 class is still my very favorite. It is an amazing marker of my progress in the last 35 days. I haven’t ever done anything like this before and it is mind blowing to see what daily practice can achieve–although the word “achieve” isn’t quite right because the practice and showing up daily are my only goals. I really try to listen to my body each class. I still can’t do the postures on my knees: the reclining hero series just doesn’t work for me when I can’t sit on my heels. My knees just don’t bend that much…yet. I am working on them and hope there will be a time I can do them. When I am in child’s pose, I push back on my heels and “work on” sitting back. I am sore almost every day in my muscles. I feel so grateful to be able to exercise at this level. Especially when I think that 2 years ago we were having conversations about getting a wheel chair to use when I needed to walk a long way. I am starting to know many of the teachers and a few other people at the studio, mostly by sight. I say hello to the teachers and I am so impressed by how many remember my name. I have met a few people. It is a pretty quiet place and I don’t feel called to step out of the quiet to talk to people very often. I think about having completed the 30 day...
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