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Posts Tagged "Bookii"
A few months ago, Mel spent the evening making some home-made applesauce with the apples from our tree in the backyard. He used his grandmother’s recipe. The apples are tart and small and delicious if you have a lot of time to work with them. He peeled and chopped about 40 apples and we ate all the applesauce for dinner. I remember my grandmother having containers and containers of home-made applesauce. I wonder how my ancestors managed to preserve so much food. For the last couple of years, I have been working to try to put some food away. I am shocked by the volume of food that is required if I want to eat it during the winter. I buy what I consider large quantities of things–a bushel of tomatoes, a flat of strawberries, and they disappear as I make jam or sauce. That is kind of what happened with the apples. I have been judging myself by a tough standard, I realized. I am the first woman in my family to continue in a career after I married. The women I admire who were fantastic at putting food away were housewives. If it were my job to put food away, I imagine I would be a fair bit better at it. I picture them never really sitting down, but then I think of the handwork my grandmother did–always making something–and I realize she had to sit down for that. And she watched her soap operas. I am not sure her life was quite as full as I thought it was. She had some down time I think. I spend my time in front of a computer. It is ironic that I work and feel lazy because I can’t do all the tasks women from previous generations...
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It has become clear to me that I am not going to make my goal of 100 yoga classes in 100 days. The end of the 100 days is about 10 days away and I am down 9 classes. It was an optimistic goal. I was on track until I went on a trip. Then I got caught in the polar vortex for an extra 4 nights in Orlando. I have counted so many times to see if I could make it. It is theoretically possible, but not in a way that feels sane or reasonable in my busy life. I am noticing my attachment and I am allowing failure intentionally–watching it happen–because it feels like the right thing to do. I don’t have regret, although I still wish it was different. It is a disappointed dream for me personally as I will be 7-9 classes short of my goal. Now I need a new goal. I have realized I have the possibility of continuing on and resetting the goal for 125 classes in 125 days or 150 classes in 150 days. It would give me time to double up some classes on the weekends. I notice my attachment to this structure of lots of classes and how it makes me feel a little bit special. Maybe I should let it go and just allow myself to be “normal”. Someone who goes to yoga sometimes. I know I have other travel happening soon. I wonder if I will just get behind again–maybe life will “happen” again and again. I worry about my commitment level. I don’t have a great track record with exercise. The daily commitment really has worked for me because there is no opportunity for excuses. I go daily. The goal of daily yoga has served my body, my mind, and my spirit. I don’t like that I don’t trust myself to “do” yoga without a big picture goal. Or maybe that goal is just helping me do what doesn’t...
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Last night we had a meal that made my top 10 list. It was a meal like nothing I have experienced. Alexandre Gauthier came to the Stratford Chefs School bringing his front of house manager and his pastry chef. Gauthier is a Michelin Star chef with a restaurant called La Grenouillère. Sela was lucky enough to be the student chef during the dinner we attended last night. It was a snowy night but thanks to some great driving by our friend, we made it. There were 7 of us who added to the festivities, and the meal was a tasting menu that knocked our socks off. I can’t tell you how many courses there were. I can never figure out how to count the amuse-bouche at the beginning and the petit fours at the end. There were 12 distinct dishes that we ate plus delicious dark bread. There wasn’t a menu, just a list of ingredients and we continually got the unexpected. What we had: there was a corn tart, a veal and sardine tartar with cauliflower, scallop and avocado roll, a souffle with crab, beet ravioli with eel, a lobster salad, lamb with broccoli puree and wheat berries, an apple curl with celery cream, butternut squash ice cream with meringue, a strawberry gelée, and a truffle that exploded in my mouth. The pace was faster than any meal I have ever enjoyed and the drama of each course kept me on the edge of my seat. I felt excited each time a new course came out. I couldn’t wait for the description of what each dish contained and had to hold myself back. The colors and textures were striking and the uniqueness of each dish was remarkable. Several of the dishes were a little intimidating–it was a little scary to take the first bite of the blood red eel ravioli. But the flavors in each dish were so deep, rich, balanced and satisfying that the food provided a thrill and a world class...
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In the last few weeks I have lost count and I don’t seem to be able to keep track of how many days I have been doing my yoga challenge. With the business of December, I don’t have any bandwidth for the information. I try to count–I admit it, sometimes during Shavasana, but I can’t really hold onto the thought. Somewhere between 50 and 70 it just stopped mattering. I am just showing up every day as a practice. It feels a little like free-falling and maybe a little crazy. Yoga is definitely a part of my daily practice. I can’t imagine not having it. I had been “banking” some classes–my goal has been to complete 100 classes in 100 days–and I will be out of town for 6 nights in early January. I had 2 classes “banked” when we had an ice storm and the studio was closed for a day and I missed a class. Then I missed a class the next day because I got there without my yoga top and had to leave. I couldn’t picture doing hot yoga in my sweater. I actually had tears as I drove home. I love yoga and in that moment it felt like a loss. I wonder about being too attached to my yoga practice, but I figure it is early days. I am happy I have found exercise that I love, and happy I like the studio and have a place to practice that gives me joy. And it does. It is a lovely place. I need to start counting the days. I will need to pay attention in order to make my 100 classes– or I will need to do some yoga while I am at Disneyworld. I am planning to take my mat. I think that practicing some yoga on my own would make it more my own. If I count that practice toward my 100 days of yoga, my goal will be easier. Maybe easier is perfect for me...
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Today is Day 60. I am noticing more changes and I have been musing on some things. Here’s what I have noticed: 1. My midsection feels “weird” when I touch it. I think it is muscle. It feels kind of hard. 2. I notice when I am in the studio I need much less space around me than I did when I started. I am really happy to find a little corner of the room where my mat will fit and about 6 inches on one side for my blocks and strap. 3. There were a couple of mornings this week that were hard to wake up for yoga. One because I was out late the night before, and one because it was cold. I notice there is a two minute “choice” period when I decide to go or not go. Holding myself to the daily yoga construct makes my choice for me. I like the structure of daily yoga. It gets rid of the need to have self control or initiative. 4. My core muscles are still less strong than I want them to be. This is obvious in all the balance poses. 5. The longer I do this, the harder it can be to quiet my mind during yoga. For me it was easy to quiet my mind in the beginning. Now it is more challenging. 6. I have some “yoga friends”. People I say hi to in the change room. As an extrovert, I like this. 7. It takes a long time to get fit when you aren’t. I started working with a trainer 19 months ago and then switched to Yoga 60 days ago. Last night we walked around at a night festival and I got tired and sore. I still have a long way to go. 8. I love my mat. It feels important to me. 9. I signed up for the mat cleaning service at the studio. This means I get to leave it on the floor and...
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