An open letter to my husband after 10 years of marriage…

Aug 30, 13 An open letter to my husband after 10 years of marriage…

Posted by in Featured, Mel & Me

To my husband, You are the love of my life.  You make my life richer, fuller, more interesting and so full of love.  When we decided to join our lives together I had dreams of flowers and romance and making each other happy.  And there have been days like that. But the reality of our marriage has been so much more complex.  We challenge each other and take on big challenges and lifetime commitments together.  We make life changing decisions together.  Marriage involves an intimacy that takes my breath away when I allow myself to think about it.  You have seen me at my worst and you love me anyway.  You have been so incredibly mad at me and still you love me so much.  The intimacy of that love year after year is astounding.  At every juncture there is a choice to keep committing to our love or to get annoyed, give up and stop.  Every time, you choose love. I know you love me because of how you care for our lives.  The evidence of the love you have for our family is all around us.  It is clear in the way you care for our children and make time for them.  It is in the grass you cut, in the swimming pool you maintain, it is in the white picket fence that lines our 2-acre property that you repair and replace pickets for each year.  A couple of years ago someone recommended we replace that fence with something that would require less maintenance.  I couldn’t imagine trading it in–it is a symbol for me of the love in our lives.  Your love shows when you give me the car with the gas tank full and make sure the oil gets changed.  We haven’t chosen an easy life, but one full of love and care.  You show me that love every day. When we got married, I thought marriage was about love and kisses but what I know now is that being...

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What Was it Like Moving to Canada?

Jul 05, 13 What Was it Like Moving to Canada?

Posted by in Ask Me Anything

Question:   What was it like moving to Canada? Jennifer, Lethbridge Alberta We had been together about a year when Mel started interviewing for tenure-track jobs.  He really was excited about McMaster University in Hamilton, Ontario because it is well-known for its research in evolutionary psychology.  He knew several of the professors and thought it might be a great job for him.  There are 3 universities in North America that excel at evolutionary psychology:  UC Santa Barbara, McMaster University, and the University of New Mexico.  He did his PhD at UC Santa Barbara and NM wasn’t hiring that year, so McMaster really was a very exciting opportunity. He was very excited about the job offer and it seemed right for him.  I didn’t think it would be wise to put him in the position of choosing between me and the job. I agreed to check it out since I had never been to Canada before.  “We’ll need to live in Toronto,” I said. We visited in April and I fell in love with all the amazing old houses in Hamilton–a city of about 500,000 people.  We were pretty sure we were coming–in fact we met with a realtor while we visited and put in an offer on a house.  It was a go.  We bought a house in a little town which eventually amalgamated into Hamilton. Moving to Canada has been amazing, challenging, occasionally annoying, and it is becoming home.  We seem to have gone through stages.  In the first couple of years we were fairly anti-American and pro all things Canadian.  We were adventurers.  In the next few years we flip-flopped and were annoyed by some things Canadian and became more patriotic about the US than I ever expected to be.  We were homesick.  Now I feel like I have found a comfort level with my two countries and I love them both with all their up-sides and down-sides. The Five Weirdest Differences to Get Used to Between Canada and the US There are...

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