I made it to yoga for an 8am class. I don’t like rushing into yoga but I realized at the last minute I could make this class. I like being 15 minutes early and having my time on my mat before the class starts. I feel excited to be there but it feels like not very long from the 6:30pm class yesterday. I have this feeling that I haven’t had enough recovery time. I had really crazy dreams last night. Nightmare after nightmare. In one I dreamed I got trapped under a tree under water and I couldn’t move. I could imagine Mel trying to save me and I just tried to get to a place of acceptance really fast sending loving thoughts to all my family. It was a super intense dream and I accepted my own death. It seemed very yoga-esque as I let go of my attachment to life and accepted the situation as it was instead of struggling and suffering. I didn’t do all the poses today. I could feel the fatigue in my body. I did a few of them but then spent time lying in shavasana on my mat. I probably did about 1/2 the poses. I started tracking my food and exercise and I was motivated to track more minutes of yoga and I think this was a mistake. I think I didn’t allow it to be okay to be tired. I asked “more” of my body than I needed. I need to be very clear to be gentle with my body and to allow it to do as much yoga as feels right. I don’t need to push beyond that. I felt exhausted after today’s yoga and full of sugar cravings. I have been having these sugar cravings since I started, as if my body is trying to find energy. I ate a bunch of protein today to see if that would help. I also had a glass of wine. I felt kind of yucky...
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I have seen some pretty scary obesity studies this week and I have always thought that sugar was the devil. Since my children were born, I have tried to limit it, replace it, negotiate around it, and keep it away from them as much as possible in their lives. But this summer, I changed my mind just a little bit. We were in Europe for 5 weeks this summer and we wanted the boys to enjoy the local foods. For 8-year-old boys, “food” translates into dessert and treats. And we wanted them to eat croissants and tarts and all the delicious things in France and the amazing wienerbrød in Denmark. Food was part of experiencing the culture of each country with all of their senses. I also realized that Orangina is available almost everywhere in Europe and it has long been on my list for acceptable kid beverages (It is essentially just juice and bubbling water, no added sugar). So we allowed them to have a treat and an Orangina every day. For the treat, candy would have been off-limits, but they never asked about that. My boys are thin and extremely active and tall for their age. They both do sports for extracurricular activities and they also run, jump, play hard, and are generally very active people who burn lots and lots of calories. They eat very few carbs–that is bread, pasta, potatoes, etc. They get most of their carbs from fruit. Still with the daily treat, they gained a little weight. But it seemed to be good for them. One of them has always been very thin. He filled out a little. And he seemed less slight and more grounded in his body. The other added a little weight to his body but has gotten leaner now that he is back to the twice a week swim team routine. It has made me rethink my “sugar is the devil” mantra. Could it be that moderation in the sugar department might actually be good...
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