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Posts Tagged "The Crucible Bookii"
Today I am going to do 2 yoga classes. I missed one and it is really bugging me that I am on day 7 and it is my 6th yoga class. I want the alignment of being on day 7 and being on class 7. I start with a 6:30am class. I am still feeling the heat and am making it through more of the poses. I am finding incredible peace as I lie on my mat. I am craving spending a long time in shavasana which is essentially lying on my back on my mat with my arms to the side with my hands up. I have heard several things in passing about shavasana. One person suggested spending 20 minutes a day in this pose. That has stayed in my head. I have heard it is the most important pose in yoga. Which makes sense because it is in this pose that I really feel my breath settle in and I get completely relaxed. I am still content to lie in shavasana when the heat is too much for me and my heart rate feels too high. I am also hoping I will be able to do more of the work-out soon. I am craving a good strong work-out. I find I am challenged by the heat so I can’t keep doing all the poses. But then I am feeling like I didn’t get a good physical work-out, which is ironic since I am spending so much time going to yoga classes. It’s 8pm and I am at my second class and I am so sleepy. The class is completely packed and I am pretty sure I am just going to lie on the mat in shavasana. Oh no, a girl just came and put her mat so close I can’t extend my arms to the side in shavasana. I try to get comfortable but I feel totally crunched. I am noticing my attachment to space. I have a passing thought about India...
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Today was the 6th day of my 21 days of yoga and my 5th class at Moksha Yoga. It was a class that was mostly done on the mat. I was super excited to get there and to lie on my mat and breathe. It just felt so good to get there after missing yesterday. There was more work in this class that required me to sit on my knees for an extended period of time. It is interesting trying to find a position that isn’t going to hurt. I was able to to some of it. I am getting stronger and am noticing muscles I haven’t noticed before in a long time. A friend was watching the boys for me and I felt so grateful for her being able to take them while I went to the class. I really had to allow myself not to rush at the end. I love lying there for a long time just breathing. Is yoga addictive? I am really loving it and can’t wait to go back tomorrow. Day 6 was a great...
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Today was the hardest day of yoga of all. I didn’t make it to class. Or “to my mat” as the yoga people say (I think they say this, I am still a total newbie!). There were two times I could have possibly made it to yoga. Neither worked. As each one passed, I felt some loss and attachment to my 21 days of yoga. I watched my attachment and let it go. I felt loss, I watched it. I let it go. I am a mother first and my children needed me today. I have become attached to my yoga. I followed up with a friend who says she can take my kids with her to church this morning so I can go to yoga. I can’t wait to get back to my mat. I am completely aware of my life and my choices and how it is okay to take care of myself in the ways that I can–not always exactly how I want to. The class tomorrow isn’t the exact class I wish I could take, but it is a great class and I am so grateful I can go. I can’t wait! I am still going to make my 21 classes in 21 days–now I just have to find a time when I can do 2 classes in one day to make it all...
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I figured out a play-date for my kids and am feeling so excited about being able to do some yoga today before I drive to an event in Stratford for my daughter Sela’s school. I am excited about having an evening with her. She called yesterday and said she was free earlier and I could come see her before the event, but I decided to honor my commitment to yoga and myself and keep my yoga date. I get to class right before it starts and find a spot on the floor. I breathe and lie on my mat and I don’t quite feel like I have enough time before class starts. I want more time to lie down and breathe. Class starts in a new way and I realize I don’t know what class I am in. I keep up through the first poses and I realize I am able to reach my hands behind my thighs in a way I couldn’t even yesterday. Isn’t that nifty, I think to myself. Then class gets really hard. I can’t keep up. I still have no idea what the class is but I am completely intimidated. I try to do enough to get a work-out but have to spend a fair bit of time on my back on the mat. The teacher asks me twice if I am okay. I say yes, and I am, but I am feeling some shame that I can’t keep up. It is a mild shame–if that makes sense. The gap between these people and me is so great that it shames me until I get really humble. I decide I am okay exactly where I am and it is okay that I am on my journey. I try more poses and actually realize I have done more in this class than in any other class–I am getting better. Then my shoulders get sore and my knee starts to hurt. The voice of the teacher from the first day comes...
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I got really excited when I was doing some laundry and I saw a beach towel that isn’t too crazy that has about the right texture to use for yoga. I have a yoga towel! Woo hoo! I have packed a bag for yoga so I try showering after. I didn’t shower yesterday and I felt grimy and a little cold as I left. With all that sweat, showering seems like a more pleasant alternative. And I think I have time to shower and get home to do kid lunches and get them out the door. I can be home by 8am. I still feel a little shy as I go into Moksha. I have my new mat which I removed from the paper wrap in the car so I don’t look “new.” I have my beach towel and my water bottle and my bag. I take my wallet out of my purse and leave it locked in the car so I can take my purse in and keep my Prius smart key there. I’ll have to figure this out. There are no lockers inside, so I need a system for my stuff that doesn’t feel awkward. I get into the studio and lay my mat down. I had a hard time hearing yesterday so I try to get a spot closer to the middle. It is warm but I am looking forward to my time on my mat. I am looking forward to the time lying quietly on my back. I want the quiet and I want to see if my body relaxes again. I lie down and as before, I notice my lower back being a bit uncomfortable as I lie down. I am conscious of the gap between my lower back and the floor. Five minutes later, the feeling is gone. I feel supported completely by the floor. I feel solid, held and relaxed on my mat. I am able to do a few more poses this time and I remember...
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