When we first moved to Canada in 2002, we were immigrants. We didn’t have family to show us around so we stumbled our way around the culture, trying our best and sometimes failing both miserably and comically. Fitting into the local school system was challenging for us since we looked like we spoke the language and we seemed to fit in. Our immigrant-ness was invisible so it led to some funny challenges. Like the day Sela came home and said, “Quiz me on the provinces and their capitals!” I have to admit it had never actually occurred to me that provinces had capitals although when I thought about it, it made sense. “Do you…er…have a list?” I asked. We figured it out and we all learned the capitals together. All Canadian elementary students have an agenda from the school that is used for back and forth communication with the teacher. We got a note one day in the agenda that Sela needed duotangs. We were puzzled. I knew that duotangs had been on Sela’s school shopping list at the beginning of the school year but since I had no idea what they were, I had ignored them (one of my immigrant strategies is to wait to see if things get clearer with time). I figured, maybe the teacher could help us with the duotangs, so I told Sela to ask the teacher where we could get them. “Shoppers” was the answer. We actually were lucky enough to know this did not refer to personal shoppers like they have at Nordstrom or any other kind of actual shopper, “Shoppers” refers to Shoppers Drug Mart which is the Walgreens of Canada and a near monopoly. They are a little different from Walgreens and most of them have cosmetics and a small grocery section. And apparently, school supplies. We went off to “Shoppers” and looked around everywhere to see if we could find a sign that said duotang. We are fairly smart, we started in the school supplies...
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Hear From Melanie Parish I’m Melanie Parish, author and creator of the Crucible Bookii. You can take a look at this video where I talk about the interactive nature of the bookii. Want to make a suggestion? I’m game to play! ...
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Question: When you write, you always use “he” when you write about Mel. Shouldn’t you use “she” before Mel transitioned and “he” after? Anonymous Answer: First of all, thanks for asking. There was a moment in time when we actually changed pronouns. I designed this with Mel’s mother and it was for us, not for Mel. It felt so hokey to wake up one day and change pronouns but it was starting to be weird. We went on one very memorable camping trip where half of the people were calling Mel “she” and half were calling Mel “he.” I tried not to use any pronouns at all. It was weird. So, on Labor Day, Mel’s mom came for a visit and we took the plunge. We started the process to change pronouns. I have to say it was a messy business. For several years I worried I would slip up and say the wrong pronoun. Mel has always been incredibly gracious about this but I have felt like I would fail him with a wrong pronoun. But now, I don’t slip. He is firmly placed in the “male” category in my mind. Somehow, I can’t go back and call Mel “she.” For me now, Mel was never a “she.” He has always been the exact same person he is now. And I feel like we righted a wrong and I have no desire to go back to a “wrong” construct. So, when I talk about Mel, I might talk about before he transitioned but he never wanted to be “she” and now I never want to go back either. So in my stories, Mel will always be “he.” Melanie The Crucible Bookii is my story as it continues to unfold and how I see the world from my perch on the edge of the Crucible…because falling in love changed everything. To read more about our story, may I suggest Unlikely Renewal of...
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A friend was over today and asked him just this question. I was also curious about his answer.
He said he felt vulnerable and exposed and a little nervous. He talked about the difference between Jerry Springer and Oprah Winfrey. We asked him what he meant.
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