4 countries 6 currencies 38 days 4 backpacks 3 rental cars 1 car loaned by friends 2 ferries old friends new friends 2 amusement parks 3 medieval villages 1 mountain climb to a chateau daily scrapbooks fresh baked bread old cheese, salami, french wine, Danish snaps, Danish beer, bubbles, 4 swimming pools, 2 hot springs, 2 beaches, and a whole lot of sunshine… It has been a week since we returned from our 5 week trip to Iceland, France, Denmark, and Sweden. I have had a hard time reintegrating back into my life. I have had difficulty writing. Not because I don’t have anything to say but because I have been on some kind of sensory overload for several weeks now and I have had a hard time forming a thought of my own. I have been awash in varied and intense emotions. I have had my fill of beautiful places and interesting visual stimulation. I have had my fill of re-connection and connection with people I have known, and people I have gotten to meet in the last month. I am physically spent. I can feel the physical exhaustion hanging on even though I have taken it easy this week and haven’t tried to do too much. I am sated by the time on vacation with my family and have been enjoying some time alone this week. Being in close quarters with my family was so warm and we have shared a real sense of connection that was sweet and special. Now we are all disconnecting just a bit so we can go on with our individual lives. People want to hear about our trip and I am not ready to talk about it much yet. It is like a new lover, something to savor that is greater than words. If I talk about it, I tie it down, I accidentally commit to giving it a meaning instead of letting my feelings exist on their own in a land without words. I want...
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“I am ashamed of you.” I can hear it rattling around in my head, feeling my face get hot. The feeling of not enough.
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Dear Diary, Yesterday was a crazy day. And by that, I mean that I made myself a little crazy. I created a world I don’t really want to live in–but only in my head. It has been a tough week. I have been sharing the Crucible with a focus group and I also took some entries to my writing group. Then, one of my kids told me “gay” is a bad word. We talked about it, and then I talked with the vice-principal to try to figure this out and to help the kids understand why they shouldn’t say “you’re gay” but not because “gay” is a bad word. All this has been going on, and then I sent out a page of the Crucible as a way to “come out” to a new friend about our family. I sent the page to her on Friday with a note that said how vulnerable I felt sharing it with her. Mostly I felt vulnerable because she is religious, and I honestly never know how some religious people will respond to our family. I say this, and yet in our little world, we have been extraordinarily safe. We simply haven’t come across many people who don’t like our family because we are queer. That said, I don’t test friendships with religious people very often. But we met some people we really liked and we had them over for drinks. It became clear to me that it was time to tell them. So I sent a page that described The Crucible Bookii and waited to hear back. Five days passed and I heard nothing about what I had sent her. I really couldn’t believe it. I am accustomed to the world surprising me with its acceptance. Could it be that she actually wasn’t going to respond to my coming out at all? I sent her the link on Friday, and by Wednesday I was pretty upset. I decided to send one more note, “Did you read what...
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The firmly-held Montessori principles, and the fact that they work, have resulted in a strong “Montessori brand” that has not only endured the exile of its creator and several wars, but has remained constant through changing societal attitudes towards children and education.
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Hear From Melanie Parish I’m Melanie Parish, author and creator of the Crucible Bookii. You can take a look at this video where I talk about the interactive nature of the bookii. Want to make a suggestion? I’m game to play! ...
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Question: When you write, you always use “he” when you write about Mel. Shouldn’t you use “she” before Mel transitioned and “he” after? Anonymous Answer: First of all, thanks for asking. There was a moment in time when we actually changed pronouns. I designed this with Mel’s mother and it was for us, not for Mel. It felt so hokey to wake up one day and change pronouns but it was starting to be weird. We went on one very memorable camping trip where half of the people were calling Mel “she” and half were calling Mel “he.” I tried not to use any pronouns at all. It was weird. So, on Labor Day, Mel’s mom came for a visit and we took the plunge. We started the process to change pronouns. I have to say it was a messy business. For several years I worried I would slip up and say the wrong pronoun. Mel has always been incredibly gracious about this but I have felt like I would fail him with a wrong pronoun. But now, I don’t slip. He is firmly placed in the “male” category in my mind. Somehow, I can’t go back and call Mel “she.” For me now, Mel was never a “she.” He has always been the exact same person he is now. And I feel like we righted a wrong and I have no desire to go back to a “wrong” construct. So, when I talk about Mel, I might talk about before he transitioned but he never wanted to be “she” and now I never want to go back either. So in my stories, Mel will always be “he.” Melanie The Crucible Bookii is my story as it continues to unfold and how I see the world from my perch on the edge of the Crucible…because falling in love changed everything. To read more about our story, may I suggest Unlikely Renewal of...
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