Screwing Up

May 26, 13 Screwing Up

Posted by in Dear Diary, Family

I hate the feeling when I screw up.  I like to be together, kind, thoughtful, organized, tidy etc—all the good words.  However it seems like when I go fast, I start to miss things.  I am much better able to be all the good words when I have time to think, time to plan and mental capacity for all the bits and pieces that make up my life.  I don’t like messing up.  But it happens. It happens with my kids when I get cranky for no reason.  It happens with my husband when I forget to tell him about a meeting in the evening and I don’t come home when he expects me to, I am slow to have important conversations, and generally I start to feel like all the balls are dropping around me.  I don’t even have time to think about all the balls that are in the air because I am tidying up all the messes for the balls that are dropping. For me, this is a sign that I am too busy.  I think about my list which looks something like this: Do 28 day diet Plan Europe trip Book accommodations in Europe Help my daughter problem-solve her school challenges Help my daughter figure out how to get a Toronto Restaurant apprenticeship Create curriculum for workshop in two weeks Communicate with partners about the workshop Coach clients Communicate with people interested in coaching Read client’s new book Read other client’s new book Think about hiring a personal trainer Do client work–web development Write daily for the Crucible as I committed to my coach Wash dishes–dishwasher has been broken since September because of rats Think about buying a new dishwasher when the Pest Control folks come back Get ready for exchange student who may arrive any time Read to my kids Train my dog, or at a bare minimum, get her to the dog park for exercise. Socialize with friends   As I write this list, it seems even more...

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My Daughter’s Gift

Apr 30, 13 My Daughter’s Gift

Posted by in Dear Diary, Family, Foodie

I have been feeling really tired lately.  Too tired to be effective.  I can explain it–I have been busy.  I had a coaching call about a month ago and I kept saying “If I can just get to vacation, then I will slow down…”  Then I got to March break and worked really hard at my parent’s house (cleaned out their pantry, helped with taxes, helped clean out part of the garage) and I got even more tired. I came home and I added more exercise to my program and I got more tired.  I felt like the more tired I got, the more my home life was spiraling.  Things were messy and dirty and I was too tired to deal with it all and I just couldn’t keep up. But yesterday my daughter gave me a gift.  It was one of those moments when we started cleaning one thing and then did another and then 4 hours later we had reorganized the whole kitchen.  We went through almost every cupboard and moved things to new spots that work better.  We got rid of things and made it work.  She had strong opinions, I had strong opinions, we talked to each other and we listened and no one got angry or upset.  There was kindness, there was gentleness and there was much needed progress forward in our home.  I went to bed feeling both tired and  very satisfied. I also realized just how much I helped my mother.  Having another pair of hands and eyes in the decluttering was amazing and incredibly helpful. Thank you to Sela for the lovely gift of helping me in the...

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